I think this is such an intriguing and captivating lyric; if I opened my heart, there’d be no space for air. Taken from Skunk Anansie’s, Weak As I Am, this lyric invites so many questions. How much does our heart hold? What thoughts? What secrets? What desires and ambitions, hopes and fears?
The song reflects thoughts of a relationship where Skin (it’s singer) could do so much better. In this context, I think the lyric reflects the deep yearning of a heart wanting to express so much more than words could ever express. Thoughts beyond words. Feelings which, if allowed, would consume the individual’s whole existence.
It certainly seems this unrequited love leaves less than satisfaction, but equally it is still almost irresistible:
Lost in time I can't count the words, I said when I thought they went unheard. All of those harsh thoughts so unkind. ‘Cause I wanted you.
I think this fractured and torn nature of our feelings goes beyond relationships extending across the nature of life itself. How often do we feel divided about decisions we face, directions we might need to take and experiences we may have had? Perhaps even to the extent that we feel unable to do anything:
And now I sit here I'm all alone. So here sits a bloody mess, tears fly home. A circle of angels, deep in war. ‘Cause I wanted you.
Yet this isn’t a song of defeat. It is a declaration of defiance:
Weak as I am, no tears for you. Weak as I am, no tears for you. Deep as I am, I'm no one’s fool. Weak as I am.
Rather than regretting the duplicitous and disabling nature our feelings may take, the song embraces and accepts them as part of life’s journey:
So, what am I now I'm love last home? I'm all of the soft words I once owned. If I opened my he heart, there'd be no space for air. 'Cause I wanted you.
So, how does this relate to our wellbeing beyond the realm of relationships? Our heart is an important part of our decision making in life. Indeed, decisions which only strike a cognitive resonance, and which don’t engage the whole of our being; body, heart, mind, soul, rarely take us to our potential. Yet living this life will also engage us in dealing with hurt. The resilient and wholistic life is one in which we embrace hurt not as a sign of weakness, but a result of a life honestly and fully lived.
If you are hurting today, perhaps it’s not a sign you are weak, but are attempting to live with integrity. And similarly, if you are living with integrity, perhaps it is wise to prepare yourself that this will not come without challenge. This is a song which celebrates the wholeness and strength of recognising and embracing our weakness. It’s a song which acknowledges we are not in control of everything but are in control of reactions. It is ultimately a song of realistic and honest experiences of liberation.
Need to feel more liberation in your life? Why not consider booking an appointment with the author, Dr Dave Wood.
Taken from the album:
Photo by Aliyah Jamous on Unsplash
If I opened my heart there'd be no space for air.
Weak As I Am by Skunk Anansie