Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash
This week’s theme considers whether we are living life waiting for something good to happen, or whether we are simply living our lives. The topic will be explored from the perspective of someone living their life waiting for their one true love using the 1996 Longpigs song Lost Myself.
Whilst on the surface the song is about someone waiting for the love of their life; She sold herself on the one love. The one that most of us live without. More significantly, it is the tale of a person waiting instead of living; And dressed for the occasion day after day. Forgives herself when it don't come. This is the story of someone who is postponing their life anticipating there is something better to come.
There is a strong sense of a need for mindfulness in this song. The need to be focused on experiencing the present rather than waiting for the future. Sounds really logical doesn’t it. But how often do we miss out on the things that are actually happening around us because we focused on a future event that might or might not happen?
Like the subject of the song, I also can relate to the sentiment that daydreaming about our ideals is easier than actually doing something in the present to live them. As the song suggests, to do something about our dreams often means recognising we are living just a shadow of life in the present, and that to do anything else might mean making some painful decisions:
I have always found it easier to dream about it. Careful of the stitches. Insisted there was more than this.
For me, becoming more mindful in the way I try to live my life has been helpful with this dilemma. Chasing dreams can be exciting, but also painful and exhausting. It’s not that we needn’t have goals, dream and aspirations. But it is important that our goals do not detract from the gift of what is going on in the present moment. We need the balance of journeying towards our future whilst really experiencing the present moment of the journey.
The song helps bring some reality to our pursuit of dreams. It speaks of going, bold as hell for the one love and the efforts this requires, but also the response when it doesn’t work out. This is the danger of focusing on the future, or unrealistic goals, often it creates a tendency to create a negative cycle of self-talk: By the things your saying, it's easier to turn the blame in. When we are focused on the things we have no real control over, it is easy to unrealistically blame ourselves when we don’t achieve them.
So, this week, take a few moments to consider where you are right now. What is going on in your life and what are you in missing out on in the present because of your pursuit of the future.
Feeling like you’ve lost yourself? Why not consider booking an appointment with the author, Dr Dave Wood of Realign Coaching via Keia.