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Lights - Ellie Goulding - Wellbeing blog

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Noises I play within my head touch my own skin

Ellie Goulding


Have you ever been scared of the dark? It’s a common fear during childhood for most people, but I think most of us still recognise that feeling every so often in our life as adults but just perhaps no longer about dark rooms at night. This week’s song choice, Lights by Ellie Goulding, was written about her childhood fear of the dark, but does it reveal something more about our fears as adults?


There is a metaphorical quality to talking about being overwhelmed by darkness and the impact of the light shining into the dark. This song refers to the power of the light to stop us turning to stone. When we feel like we are in a ‘dark place’ in our lives we can begin to feel frozen, like we’re emotionally or circumstantially stuck and unable to do anything about it.


One of the interesting aspects of this song is the lyric; You shine when I’m alone. It’s good for us to turn to others to help us in our struggles, but there are often times when we already know what we’ve got to do but what freezes us is the noises we play in our head. It’s the sort of self-talk which says, ‘you can’t do that’, ‘think what might happen if you …’, ‘you should be doing what everyone else does, that’s where you’ll be secure.’ Often very logically self-talk as when we were children, as the song indicates, having our brother or sister with us might have made us feel safe. Security in numbers, so to speak.


Yet the song hints at another way: I had a heart then, but the queen has been overthrown. Do we need to reconnect with our heart in beating our ‘what if’ fears? Do we need to stop relying on ‘security in numbers’ and return to being ourselves? If so, let’s be strong and return home to being the version of ourselves we connected with when we dreamed as children. The version of ourselves which is not weighed down by the metaphorical darkness of anxiety about things we cannot control, but instead is guided by our visions and values. This could be our chance to ensure the noises I play within my head don’t touch my own skin and dominate the choices we make which inform our life.


Do you need to return home to being yourself? Why not consider booking an appointment with the author, Dr Dave Wood of Realign Coaching via Keia.

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